Gooftees Funny Blog

Love is just like porn, minus all the stuff that makes porn cool.

I need a Donkey for my Farm Town so I ain’t the only ass on the farm!

This pie is going straight to my penis. Great, just what I need, a great big fat penis.

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.

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I believe in the “Golden Rule” – Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But DAMN I ain’t giving no BJ’s.

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Does anyone else’s junk hit the toilet water? SUCKS!

What’s the speed limit of sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.

A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. the woman replied, snorting pepper.

I molested myself last night. I said no stop, but I just wouldn’t listen.

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So these three guys walk into a bar… I forgot the joke, but your mother’s whore!

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