I am thinking about releasing a country Album, “I returned drunk from playing redneck horseshoes and hunting all day when I decided to kiss my sweetie with my fist after she ran my drunk, three legged dog over with her truck shortly after she got out of prison and burned down my momma’s house.”
Archive for July, 2010
Country Song
Friday, July 30th, 2010Transformer
Thursday, July 29th, 2010If I were a transformer, I would be known as Optimus Procrasterbator.
Fat Sack
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010I need a fat sack! It’s not what you think though. I want one full of money! Then I can buy weed with it.
iTampon
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010iTampon…there’s and applicator for that.
http://www.gooftees.com/
Laughs during SEX
Monday, July 26th, 2010My girl always laughs during sex… no matter what show she is watching.
Looking like a fool
Thursday, July 22nd, 2010Looking like a fool with his genitals draggin on the ground. What? That isn’t how it goes? MY BAD. Wish someone would have told me before I executed this.
Our Love
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
Oh Man
Monday, July 19th, 2010oh man, I think I just googled myself.
Chinese Detective
Thursday, July 15th, 2010A man suspected his wife was seeing
another man, so he hired the famous
Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and
report any activities while he was gone.
A few days later, he received this report:
MOST HONORABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE
I WATCH HOUSE
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
NO FEE,
CHEN LEE.
Chippendales
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010I would like to think that Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley are having a dance off right about now. I bet they both get to be Chippendales this time.