Gooftees Funny Blog

I miss my ex so much, it’s almost as bad as having her around.

Walk fast and look worried, that’s how you work hard.

oh man, I think I just googled myself.

I would like to think that Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley are having a dance off right about now. I bet they both get to be Chippendales this time.

“Darling” says a husband to his wife: “let’s swap positions tonight”. “What a good idea” she replies, “you stand in front of the ironing board, and I’ll sit in front of the TV and fart”.

Why is it when your girlfriend gets pregnant, they rub her belly and says congrats and no one rubs your dick and says good job?